Bumps

So, life sure throws you the big curve balls when you least expect it to. I actually thought I saw light at the end of the very long tunnel and then "bam" it knocked the wind right out of me and pushed me back about ten miles. If you didn't know yet Mark got laid off, what a total unexpected punch in the gut. Not that he was bring home much after he paid her, but that sixteen hundred seemed to just keep us above water. Now once again we are drowning and the worst part is our Attorney called and said he could not help us out anymore until we paid him more money!!! UGH Ok so where do we get more money? I guess we just start selling the kids...LOL Well on the bright side we have great kids, Jenika is happy at her new school and doing really well. She went to her first semi formal dance and looked so pretty even with the funky hair!! Kaly, well she is always great just a happy kid...She is part of a program called girls on the run and is training for a 5k in November. Tanner, Brooke and Mckennon they seem to be doing good at school and having fun playing soccer and Kyson well he is a terror and Never seems to stop until he falls asleep, he loves his school and is having a great time just being a kid! As for Mark and I we will get through this it will be tough and we will probably go gray early but there will be away and we will be fine. Just another bump in the road that we will get over.

Saturday Really

The day usually begins with a small knee to the gut or small vice grip around my neck with endless kisses and I love you's whispered in my ear. This tiny terror, keeps me grounded, that is for sure. My Ky, he is my little man. From the moment the sun is up so is he, as active as a ticking time bomb that you can not defuse. He is non stop from the word go.

After the wake-up call, my loving husband tries very patiently not to lose his mind with the non stop chattering and bed aerobics. Then, generally very quietly, we will have Kaly peer in and ask if she can come join in. Kaly, the most amazingly kind and tender hearted child I have ever had the privilege to know. She is my middle child, but so wise and observant for her 9 years. She watches out for us all, making sure we say our prayers, steering us on a path that leads to living our best life.

We finally will drag ourselves up and begin with cleaning, breakfast, planning out the day, go to the gym. By then we should see Jenika. Our 13yr old who thinks she is 20 and believes that this whole world was created for her benefit. I never understood what my parents meant when they said she is 13 going on 20 when they said it to me...it never made sense 'til I had a 13yr old myself. Wow! What a challenge! I do not know whether the goal is for her to survive her teenage years or me to survive them. Either way, I must keep telling myself this too shall pass. Jenika is this incrediblly talented child with the most amazing beauty, she is stunning and really has the potential to go far in this world, her only problem at times is her choices in friends....I know what she is doing I used to do the same, she is just like I was, a bum magnet. She attracts all these kids that need saving and she wants to be the one who saves them all. She will figure it out and come into her own and when that day comes, I will run to the top of the highest mountain and yell at the top of my lungs I made it!!!! If she does not make it out of this I may drag her to the top of that same mountain and make her become a hermit!!!

You know I look back at my life and know that my parents were so wise, although I know they were not perfect, there love was endless and I know that now more then ever. I just can pray that someday my children will have that same knowledge of me. Man that will be a great day!

Starting Out

You know we have all felt it,the look the excitement the feeling that you believe could carry you to the next life? You just know its love, the moment you give birth to that beautiful child, when you first fall in love, when your dreams are as big as your ego maybe bigger. We have all been their, we have all felt that rush when you love more then all the stars in all the heavens and back again. That's how I felt with the birth of each of my children, and the people that I love, well they are endless like the stars. I have a best friend whom other then my husband I know I want to grow old with, I have parents whom I council with daily for there wisdom and love, siblings (which includes a cousin who was raised as my sister) who I don't always get but I love just the same. I have ex -husbands whom the love has changed but it is still there and grows, friends, family, coworkers, people I care for and people I have met along the way that touch my life like the shooting star that is rare but always constant.

Its the conception of all thing good that keep me going at times, especially now with the economy bringing out the worst in people (not that it effects me much, you know when your poor anyways the economy stays much the same). I do always try and remember the good that surrounds me and not the evil that seems to want to drag my faith down along with my happiness. Just like the love in my life evil surrounds me and does it in many forms, my husbands ex wife and her hateful family (they will be an entry for another time) people who pretend to have your best interest in mind, banks, creditors, the endless parade of people that come into your life and go. It can almost be over whelming the amount of people who would rather do you harm then good.

So remembering your constants, your STARS as it may be is what keeps me moving toward my end goal. Its the biggest game ever played LIFE and staying positive and remembering to love rather then hate, to give rather then take is when we will score our points and take away the prize what is that prize? Well for me its an endless happiness of loving the ride and the people in it "more than all the stars in all the heavens and back again."